Beach Time

I haven't been to the beach in almost five years and i've lived on the east coast for eight. I know, it's tragic.



Anyway, this last weekend i went to Ocean City Maryland with Anth and his family. It's a lot to go through and I don't like to do the play-by-play, so I'll just say i had a great time. I had an amazing time actually.

Anthony and I had our tiffs, but overall I'd say it actually helped us. I know it did because now i feel all the more confident in our relationship. Plus, being around Mike and Mariah the entire weekend really threw the future in our face. The conversation with them was almost always surrounding their September wedding.
Not to be creepy, but Anth has said that the person he's with when he finishes college is probably going to be the person he spends the rest of his life with. We're going strong. 1+1=2

His family is very "progressive" in that they allowed anthony and i to share a bedroom in the condo. My mother was, of course, shocked to learn this but i believe my mother to be very traditional and not very open-minded to matters such as these.

I am so very tan.

catching up continued

Okay, so I also have a job for this school year at the women's center in town. I had to jump through many a hoop for this job. i even got Dr. Surmacz to write me a letter of reccomendation for me! I mean, i really worked my ass off for this job. It's a desk job doing clerical work - my dream come true. That's not sarcasm either, i love clerical work. Yes i am a bonifide loser.

Anywho, the Women's Center is only open till 5, my last class ends at two, they're closed on weekends and they go through the work-study program.
Ruby Tuesday's shifts start at 4, go till 10ish and I would be getting a legit paycheck and tips. Ultimately making more money as well.
Downside is Ruby's is a commute. Baily agreed to let me borrow her car whenever and Anth said he'd help me out if ever i needed it.
Women's Center is about a block away from the apartment... perfectly fine walking distance.

Aye, so there is my issue. I obviously prefer Ruby's, but I can't rely on my friends like this for a ride to work and I went through so much to get the job at the women's center. I'll just have to play it by ear i suppose.

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Anth and I are doing great. I know i didn't write about it and that's weird for me. My relationships tend to be my life. Our six month came and went, as did his 20th birthday, hence the picture >>>
We're going to the beach with his family for the next week. Very exciting. Ocean city and we're staying in some flat his family rents every year. Sadly, anth and my bedroom comes with two twin beds... i absolutely HATE twin beds... but then again, anth said we can just push them together and sleep together anyway. It's just not the same as a double or a queen... Mike and miriah, anth's brother and his fiance are staying in a room with two queen size beds. i mean really now? haha. But they definitely have rights. I'm lucky they're taking me with them, it's going to be a lot of fun.
From what anth has told me, it's the beach all day, really good food at night and he and i every other moment. :D

Anth and I are getting serious. It's weird though, loving him just gets easier and easier.
In past relationships, it was a rush for the first 3 months (and that's pushing it), then it just dies off. I get bored, we break up and I find someone new. It sounds terrible, but that's how it's been.
The 4th of July was our 7 month!
Anth is my first long-term relationship and if you really want to talk technical, my first real relationship. I'm in the real world now, balancing everything for myself away from my parents. It's new and extremely hard.
But it's never boring. I just keep falling. It may sound cliche, but it's almost as if every day i love him more.

I have a complex about love. In the past, like with Dan, I said 'I love you' for the first time because he dropped it on me unexpectedly after a very short while. We were only together for 4, almost 5 months. Well then I kept saying 'I love you' in the hopes that it would stick. Like maybe if i said it enough times I would feel it, but i never did.
Now i'm just so paranoid that what i'm feeling now for anthony, this strange, elongated, constantly growing and deepening love is all in my head. Pseudo-love. But the more i think about it and the more i break it down, the more i realize what this really is. I love him. He has filled a void that I've had for a long time.

The best thing about anthony is that he's nothing like anyone i've ever dated. He pisses me off so bad! He's not perfect. He doesn't worship the ground i walk on like every other guy i have EVER dated. H'es arrogant and vindictive and a fairly legitimate ass hole at times.
But I love him and i love him all the more because of these faults. That's how i know this is the real deal. This is everything I want and everything I need. I love who i am when i'm with him and who i have become because of him. God I can't believe this feeling.
He could actually be the one. I think i'm terrified.

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So Michael Jackson died. I just thought I should mention this. I want a record of where I was. It was June 28th sometime in the early evening and Anthony and I had gone to dinner at Rosemary's. It was our first day back from our 3 day camping trip and we were desperate for real food. I looked over at the bar and they had the tv's on and it said 'Michael Jackson has died' and I didn't believe it at first because i am near-sighted and thought i might be misreading it so i asked anth to read it and the fine print beneath it. When anthony confirmed it I then asked the waitress if she had heard anything about it. Heart attack.

Seriously now

I was journaling by hand again, but with all honesty it is driving me crazy. I hate writing by hand for several reasons.
For one, i have a gnarly writers bump that drives me absolutly crazy. It's finally going away because everything is done by computer now. I wrote by hand for a week and it's already huge again!
Secondly, I don't like it not being password protected...
Finally, I have the most disgusting handwriting ever. My sister, she would stay home and practice her caligraphy while i was out galavanting. Now she has pretty handwriting and mine looks absolutely horrific.

I figure I'm already going to write all my notes by hand come this September. I don't know why i should start engorging my writers bump already. plus, everything is digital now! i can't put pictures in my journal but i can easily do so here.

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So you think you can dance has started again. My goodness I love that show. I would give anything to be able to dance like them. I wish i had the time to join the dance team at school. They really have an exceptional program and i would love to be a part of it. Bail's roommate was in it last year and I went with her to see the end of the year performance. Really sick.

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Baily and I signed the lease on apartment 10. Anthony lives in apartment 5. Ley lives in apartment 7. we're all living in the same complex! what's more is i actually got my parents to let me live off campus for my sophomore year -- and pulled it off! I'm so excited and so is Baily. I did the math and made the plans, all my parents had to do was say yes. That and fork over $300 for the deposit and first month's rent. Hey! I paid $100 of it! That's quite the achievment, what with me working my crap job at Corner Stables.

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I did get a job at Ruby Tuesday though. I was actually hired and they're going to train me starting on the 21 of this month. I can even transfer my employment to Bloom! It's a serving job too, finally. No one would hire me before because I didn't have experience. Quite the catch 22. But i spoke with the manager at the Ruby's in Bloom and they said they would have no problem taking me on whenever I choose to move to Bloom.

Which, hopefully will be VERY soon. I want to get up there near the begining of August.

I have other issues, but SYTYCD is on. hahahaha. quite the acronym! I'll be back is my point... not a loser, i swear.

Ideas for Anth's Birthday

Now that I am dirt-poor, I can't do what i wanted to for anth's birthday (June 4). I was planning on buying him these shoes his Psychology mentor used to wear. They're hiking boots with bungee laces - they don't come untied! I think he would love them. Salmon Exit Peak are the ones I found. The only problem is they're $70.00 and up. I simply don't have the money for them anymore... especially since my dad lost his job and I have to pay for everything next semseter. I'm not going to be able to buy anything - not even for myself. http://www.activelyyours.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?page=AY/PROD/Salomon/Salomon_Exit_Peak

SO now i have to brainstorm the less expensive options for his birthday. I want to get him something he'll really like and something he doesn't have or hasnt' been given before... the problem is he comes from a very well-to-do family and anything i get him will be nothing compared to what he's accustomed to. his ex was from a family that was even wealthier than his...

okay, here are my ideas:

1) something for his car - his dad is going to buy him a 2008 mazda h6 tomorrow. brand new car. I'm thinking if i give him something for it, like something to hang from his rear-view mirror or... something... he'd appreciate it and it wouldn't be too expensive for me.

2) something tye-dye - he's a stoner-ish kinda guy. but then again, he already has a LOT of tye-dye and I want to get him something original... but if he already has a lot of it, i know he likes it.

3) Subscription to scientific weekly or something like that.... - he really likes that magazine. it's a mind trip for him and i think he'd like it. my only issue with that is he lives in an apt in bloom... i don't know which apt he's going to get for summer session or if the magazine will even get to him. his mail boxes are sketchy.

my mother said to make him a shirt... que pasa?

i don't know what to do. HELP!